From Religion to Relationship: A Leap of Faith

I have struggled to write this. I keep thinking that this should be a conversion story; a story of how I was “saved.” But the truth is I can’t remember a day in my life when I didn’t love the Lord dearly.

I was raised in an “Irish, Catholic” family (grew up thinking that was all one word). I was completely enamored by the pomp and circumstances of the religion and fell in love with the reverence of the Church that came with it. I remember as a child that I wanted to serve God by becoming a nun like my Aunt Peggy.

As I grew into a teenager, my parents became involved with “Marriage Encounter,” which led my mom into the Charismatic Movement. She went on a Cursillo weekend and was so moved by it that then my sister Sharon also felt led to go on one. It was there that Sharon met the Holy Spirit, and my mom was reintroduced to Him.

I need you to understand that we had heard about Him and were even fake slapped in confirmation by a priest to introduce us to Him, but it was not a true introduction. Please note that my mom and I were very close, and she eventually became a minister and my pastor for many, many years in our home fellowship; because of that, people assume that I came into a relationship with the Lord through her, but that is simply not true.

I was interested in the changes I saw in her but wasn’t sold on all the “weirdness” that came with this new lifestyle. My mom would drag us to services that were quite overwhelming to teenagers who were used to the quiet and solemnity of the Mass. I would get angry if I felt my “religion” was being attacked and would walk out. It was my sister who gave me the key. She brought me a Good News Bible, and I was drawn to the Word. I will always be grateful for the gift that the Catholic Church gave me, always encouraging and nurturing my interest in the idea of God. But there was also a parallel education, as my mom was raised in the South in a Baptist church and was raised a Pentecostal. She became Catholic for my dad. So, at the same time that I was learning about religion, my mom was also teaching me about a loving God. Add to this a sister on fire for the Lord and a Book that I couldn’t put down, and I realized that although I had religion, and respect and reverence for the idea of God, I needed to be in a relationship with Him — that was what He wanted from me. So as I read and searched, I found a church and typically skated in and out of the relationship, as is the way of a teenager; you know, the zig and zag of trying to fit God into things that were not necessarily godly. I was learning but wasn’t quite there.

I met and married a wonderful man, Jay, and started a family. We moved into this life quickly with marriage, children, and buying a house, just about on top of each other. It was a great strain on our marriage, and it did indeed fall apart. I knew, however, that God had every intention of healing our marriage. It was spoken over me long before I even started dating my husband that we would be together and that He [the Lord] would heal our marriage. So I began a walk. I have to say that at the beginning, I felt very much vindicated in my place in this situation and initially didn’t look to or feel the need to change anything about myself. I won’t go into detail, but believe me when I say that I felt like I was the harmed party. It’s funny how when God wants your attention and wants to help draw you closer, He can hold up a mirror and show you just how much you need Him. I was humbled by His love, His care, His concern, His mercy, and His lessons. Instead of allowing me to focus in on everything my husband needed to change and our worldly relationship, He [the Lord] took my focus and put it squarely on my relationship with Him and how I needed to draw closer. Basically, He said, “Let me worry about Jay. You and I are going to go on this journey together, and when it is time, I will bring you back as a woman and daughter of mine ready to be the wife I need you to be. Then together, when the union is properly in order (meaning the Lord, Jay and myself, and the kids), a threefold cord is not easily broken. I will heal your marriage.”

Not only did the Lord fulfill his promise, but my husband and I spent 28 beautiful years together. My husband became a pastor and our children were brought up in a house full of love for God.

Remember that God is a promise keeper. He is not a man that He should lie, and His Word does not come back void but accomplishes that which it was set out to do. I praise God for that time. It was hard, it was scary, but most of all, it was the time I learned to lean on the Father that will never leave me nor forsake me. There is so much more to this story, and I have cut it down as best as I can. To anyone who is ever interested, this is one story in my life that I never tire of telling. God bless you.